Man Down

These people are getting married. Yes, he is peeing and she is laughing at him (as am I, however as the artist I am not really an active particpant nor am I condoning any lewd behavior. I am simply a facilitator of aesthetics). Personally, I think this would be a great engagement announcement photo and since none of their more staid relatives read this blog (and I'm not even sure if the couple does either) I feel comfortable in posting it as my own little homage to their glorious union. I'm not going to wax poetic on the many ways that they will make each other happy forever and how I wish them nothing but eternal happiness and joy etc. I'm saving that for the gift card on the egg poacher I am planning to get them as a wedding gift.
But here, here on my own uncensored narrative I am going to be sad about it. Not sad because my best friend is getting married. Sad because this is the end of an era. The other day I was just boasting to a friend who had FIVE weddings to attend this summer that though all of my good friends are entrenched in serious monogamous relationships, none of them have been silly enough to jump on the bandwagon. Now, I'm afraid. Very afraid because you know what this means. It's like dominoes - they're all going to be dropping like flies. First one's down and it's only a matter of time before we lose the rest. When I told my mum about RJ's engagement her immediate response was: "When's your turn?" And so it begins....

lo·bot·o·my (lO-'bät-&-mE)

Shiny and new I am not. Well, that's not entirely true, I am very shiny but that has more to do with the oppressive heat here in the city than my experience with Landmark Education where I performed my self lobotomy. My lobotomy was not exactly what I had expected which is what usually happens when you have expectations. However education, i believe, is never a wasteful endeavor and to that end I will say that my three day and one evening course was definitely educational. What was I studying? Good question. I hesitate to tell people that it was a self-help or self-discovery course because that brings up all kinds of pre-concieved notions and wary glances and responses like, "Oh, well good for you!" accompanied by expressions of pity.
The tag line for The Landmark Forum reads like this:
The Landmark Forum is specifically designed to bring about positive and permanent shifts in the quality of your life. These shifts are the direct cause for a new and unique kind of freedom and power.The freedom to be absolutely at ease no matter where you are, who you're with, or what the circumstance - the power to be in action effectively in those areas that are important to you.
How could anyone say no to that? At least, how could anyone going through an extended quarter crisis say no to that? I'm a huge fan of sweeping promises of grandeur - the freedom to be at ease no matter where I am? very grand.

I really can't say quantitatively what I got out of this but I do feel like I am able to participate in my life more actively than I was before. I am aware that this statement is just as vague and sweeping as the one above. I don't know what this means exactly but I know a few things is doesn't mean. This doesn't mean that I have found my calling in life (which I was hoping to do), this doesn't mean that I am exchanging liquid courage for a more steady, reliable internal sort (which I was not really hoping to do), this doesn't mean that I have become a whole new person who is completely happy and satisfied (is it so bad that I'm not?). I am still here and still a little bit Gregor Samsa, a little bit Dorian Gray but I think the important thing here is that I am ok with that. It is what it is. I will be taking suggestions on my calling in life though. I seems I am completely deaf to that.

On a side note. I was expecting to return to Los Angeles yesterday and found myself sitting in bumper to bumper traffic outside of the midtown tunnel for about two hours in a cab with no air conditioning which led to my missing of my flight and much shininess. Since I was on the last flight out I had to turn around and come back to the city where I took it upon myself to get as drunk as possible. I am hungover today and staying now until Sunday. That's the short version but the long one is just as boring.

Fifa, Kakfa and other far east adventures

It's the morning of my lobotomy and I'm trying at the very least to put in one last comment before I am a completely different person with a completely shiny and new outlook on life. My love for The Metamorphosis seems an overwhelming theme in my life of late and transformational experiments have become my M.O. so here I am in NYC about to launch into another one. Details on that later - when I am no longer a giant cockroach. I always love coming here because you get a little bit of everything all at once. It's like living in a big Pu-Pu platter which is hard if you've recently given up meat, dairy and sugar. So I've decided to abandon some of my monastic ways at least while I'm here in and it's never tasted so good. This was decided after my futbol crazed little sister decided that we absolutely must watch the Brazil v. Croatia game in a brazilian bar with real fans and real drinks if only to relive a few moments of the greatest trip we've ever taken. Needless to say Brazil won, and that's about all that I remember apart from the 2 for 1 drink specials. Like riding a bike. However, in keeping with my metaphorical reflections on life, I will say that I like to think of myself as the messenger of summer as I arrived on a stormy stretch of spring, my bag packed with shorts and tanks in anticipation of hot and sticky afternoons in the park. A few sad and soggy days and hark the sun. The hot hot heat has begun just as I head into the next few days of lobotomy in a conference room with air-conditioning. But this is my change of the guard, the rolling of the tides, my spring into summer if you will.
That's the last of me. Next time you read this, I'll be all Shiny and New! my Brave New World is just around the bend.