Mother-Land

DAY 36
BANGKOK
I am back in the land of smiles for the first time in three years and it is very different and all the same. It is hot hot hot. Beyond hot and I have become a bona fide mosquito buffet. Apparantly I am fat and delicious. My thai is atrocious it turns out - having not practiced the language in many moons I find myself stumbling over the simplest of questions and answers. Thankfully I have avoided the "You've gotten fatter" comments which is at once refreshing and slightly disconcerting. Does that mean that I was this size (larger than I'd like to be) when I was here last and I don't look any different and all my relatives have taken it as fact that I am their extra large cousin/niece/grand-daughter?

Apologies for the long gap between postings by the way. Internet has been harder to come by than originally expected. I don't know if I will be able to keep up my everyday postings. Since I was so good at keeping them up before when I had 24-hour DSL. I am currently sitting in a Starbuck's - which are littered all over Bangkok now - and I am drinking a coffee which costs the same as is does in the states. Keep in mind that you can buy a day's worth of meals for $5, a $3 coffee in Thailand is frankly highway robbery. But it's the only place I can find with WIFI and as soon as I find another I am busting out of here. Starbucks have become like pigeons. There everywhere. All over the world. Scary. Maybe less pesky but that can be argued.

So far I've not done much aside from eating ice-cream and sorbet everyday. IBERRY. Delicious thai flavors that don't even translate in english. Longan fruit, Green Mango - basically an unripe fruit that tastes like a mango without the sweetness and a little more acrid on the tongue, Guava, Salted Plum, Starfruit. The list goes on and I am in heaven.

I am conisdering a meditation retreat. In a Buddhist country like Thailand these are plentiful and I am very interested in seeing what 10 days of instrospection might bring me. However, I have just recently learned what a buddhist mediation retreat entails. Heretofore, I had visions of a sandy beach retreat with tatami mats and a beautiful sunset while I sit cross legged with my eyes closed, having had my third epiphany of the day, the evening breeze blowing in my hair and the gentle aroma of jasmine in the air. This is not so. I have been told that I can definitely find retreats like this but they are for the whiteys and costs accordingly. A real meditation retreat can entail a stay at a monastery where I will be sleeping in a large room with the nuns, no air conditioning, or even pillows for that matter. Waking at 4 am to begin my day of medidation and "simple" monastery chores like sweeping and washing. One to two meals a day. Almost complete silence. And the worst insult of all: No INTERNET (or Starbuck's). They say the first four-five days are the worst and a lot of people leave because they can't take it. You all know that I am a self proclaimed wimp and so there is the real question. How far am I willing to go to find some "clarity"?